I'm tremendously excited! I was chosen as an interview candidate for the JET program! I read that applicants have a 75% to 90% chance of being chosen once they pass the initial screening process.  I am going to read as much as I can about Japan in the mean time and review prior interview questions former JET applicants have posted online.  I think if I prepare my answers and write them out and practice them, I will feel much more confident during the actual process.  I read the interview is supposed to be extremely intimidating, and I think it will be very much less so if I'm adequately prepared. Eeee, I feel like things are falling into place and I actually will do something after graduation instead of floating around aimlessly for a year.  We'll see, we'll see! But this is a good first step!!

Girl Talk is positively infectious! And danceable.

Ok! So I should be flying out tomorrow for Columbus to spend a few quality days with my old roommate! I'm guessing non-stop drinking lol.  And then off to Philly to visit my other old roomie and my current roomie! I'm super excited.  I've never been to the eastcoast before! I'm only nervous because I am flying standby, so my seat is not guaranteed, and it seems Denver has an influx of outgoing traffic at the moment.  I really hope seats stay open so I can get to ohio! 

LOL yesterday I watched a documentary about Australia and the Serengeti before bed time.  Clearly, I am very busy and important at the moment, especially since I am now compiling reading lists, which I tend to have a predilection of doing over breaks. 

( 2008 Reading List )

You can trust me to find these things >:DD  www.youtube.com/watch  I'm too lazy to make a proper link, but yes, it is delightful!!! I'm having my coworkers over Saturday for a freaking beer binge, I'm really excited.  I know school is going to be so hectic this semester; I just think everyone needs a release outlet right now.  But school is really interesting, I get to make up two unique research proposals this semester, and I'll carry out one of them, and the more complicated one is for next semester's research. Ohh graduation, it's so close, I can't wait. But then again, I hate to leave all the friendships I've made out here... anyway... I should try to get some sleep!

Aaaah, today was awesome.  First I had marine ecology, which was out on the boat and we collected sandy sediment core samples, so we can compare infauna between sandy and muddy substrates.  And then we jumped in the water for a swim.  The only bad thing is I got stung my a Man-of-War on my arm and neck, and it left some pretty impressive welts, but it's all good, because it stopped hurting after an hour, and the welts have gone down.  After lab, some girls from class and I headed to Maui Tacos for lunch and we hit up Makapu'u.  Normally that beach terrifies me because of the big waves, but I went in with Marcene and it was really helpful to be with someone else.  I just need the reassurance when I see this huge wave face, that it'll be ok, and you just need to go under the wave.  It was a big adrenaline rush before we needed to skip off to class.  Hoh, three hours of lecture...I don't know how I handled 7:30-3:00 days in high school.  It is so hard to focus, and plus the sun really drained me.  But days like these really cement my love for the "island" life and hopefully I'll be able to get as much beach as possible before the semester really starts getting busy.  I'm so excited! Two more semesters! JEAH!

I wrote my "statement of purpose" essay for the JET program a few days ago.  It was supposed to address the following criteria:

-Motivation for Participation: The essay should state your reasons for wishing to participate in the JET Program, why you want to go to Japan, and why you are interested in the ALT or CIR position .

- Relevant Experience: Please also make a case for your selection by describing your past/present experiences, professional skills, relevant interests and personal qualities, and how you feel these will be useful to you as an ALT or CIR. (ie. For ALTs: teaching experience, favorite teaching methods, etc...For CIRs: event coordinating experience, counseling or mediation skills, etc...)

- Goals: Also address what you hope to gain, both personally and professionally, and what effect you hope to have on the Japanese community and internationally as a result of your participation in the JET Program.

I hope it's ok :/

Ok, feeling better about my whole situation; I have a tendency to blow things out of proportion when I'm stressed out.  Usually I'm really relaxed, but sometimes everything and anything is liable to make me scream with frustration or collapse into tears.  I think I should be fine if I don't spend money until payday, and then plus I have tips to cover any of the deficient. Today was good, I like being busy, but not overtly so.  I had work and I went out with Brenda today to look for turtles on the kayak.  I really enjoy kayaking; usually only my legs get exercised I feel, but the kayak is good for the upper body.  Today was rather adventurous; it rained sporadically and the waves were larger than usual.  I was afraid they would break over us, and I kept envisioning us abandoning the kayak to dive under the enormous encroaching crest.  Fortunately the kayak is so stable, but we had to skip some points because of the waves.  I also saw a ray; I have never seen one in the wild before, so I was appropriately excited.  It swam so quickly, and  there was an abundance of turtles today; I wonder if they like the rough surf? 

I have started doing yoga pretty regularly and I think it is amazing.  I feel so revitalized and relaxed whenever I finish and now I have done the exercise enough times to stay planted in the poses with my eyes closed throughout the tape.  I think interrupting the poses to look up, disturbs my focus and offsets my breathing pattern.  I really would advocate the benefits of yoga; I can feel myself becoming more flexible and stronger, without excessive exertion or stress. 

Ahhhhh I have the worst money management skills ever.  I can't believe how much money I have spent since my last paycheck and now I'm worried about making rent (again).  I'm so mad at myself for being so flippant and careless with my money, when I know better and when I'm done this numerous times before.  Aaagh.  I dunno, living on my own is kinda rough sometimes especially when food and rent is so expensive and that compounded with my idiotic fiscal decisions.  Sigh, I don't know what to do with myself and my rogue spending habits.  These are the times when I can hardly express my self-frustration and my incredulity the repeatability of my monetary irresponsibility.  I dunno, I'm trying, I really am to be a good girl and succeed at this whole living away from home deal, but it doesn't seem to get any easier money-wise. 

I had work this morning, and it was all good.  As a side note, it freakin' drives me crazy when customers, for example, order Frappuccinos and then inspect HOT drinks on the bar, looking for theirs.  Ok Mr. Man, you got a COLD drink, why are you asking me if that HOT drink is yours? In the two seconds since you ordered your drink, did you already forget? Irritating.

On another note, I started volunteering at the Oceanic Institute, yay!  I just went in yesterday and I go back again on Monday.  The people there are really chill. It's primarily an aquaculture facility,  so basically everyone is working on raising some sort of seafood, like shrimp and moi. Honestly, I'm not interested in aquaculture very much, but I figured it will be a good experience, and I should definitely take advantage of such a close and well-equipped resource.  I love the view over there.  The buildings are nested against the Koolau Mountains, which are these big shamrock colored mountains, and they all face the ocean.  Hawai'i is so beautiful, I really think sometimes I take the gorgeous scenery for granted.

I do not know why I get inexplicable urges to change out my Livejournal icons, especially when I post so infrequently, but I do, and there you go.  Well, I feel considerably better about my summer situation because I am now helping a graduate student survey turtles at a sheltered portion of Kailua beach.  She is counting sea turtles along three transect lines from the shore to maybe 200 meters outwards, hoping to verify the site fidelity of the foraging juveniles in that area.  The results of her study would implicate the importance of maintaining clean water conditions in that area, if turtles regularly depend on the site for food, while lending greater clarity to the homing and foraging behavior of these particular turtles.

Applications for the JET program are due the end of September, and from what I have read online, it is an inexhaustibly complicated process, but I think the effort will be well worth it, if I am selected.  I'm rather nervous about it, the requirements seem so specific, I would hate to be deferred because I forgot some minor detail about the formatting. When I am next paid, I am going to be an beginning Japanese audio book from Amazon, and pitifully attempt to learn the language. 

I love summers because of the spare time I devote to reading.  I finished At the Edge of the Sea, and Brave New World, and am now reading 1984.  What is with these dystopia novels and their excessive usage of the word pneumatic? I do prefer 1984 to Brave New World; Orwell's style is more to my taste.  It reads with such sophistication and elegance as if Orwell is attempting to refute the taciturn hollowness of Newspeak.  Although, I fear the "utopia" achieved in Brave New World looms a greater threat, than the violent totalitarian regime of 1984. I feel our society relishes cheap amusements and mild diversions.  We rejoice in the moments when intelligent  thinking is not required and is regulated to the far side of the brain: television, video games, gossip, celebrity rags, drinking, drugs.  One of the most striking elements of the Brave New World was soma, and its mind-numbing capabilities, its ability to "cheapen" morality. Swallowing grammes grants  the masses moral endurance, the ability to withstand unfavorable situations with an ease, that normally would require years of honest experience.   With our current mind-numbing circus diversions are we too cheapening humanity? the smug assurance that mediocrity is acceptable and higher thinking  should be regulated to the geeky elite, who we brand with social ineptness?  I think it is troubling. Mankind's great distinction is the distinguished capacity for thought coupled with the endless aspiration for knowledge. Are we creating of lower caste of humanity centered in intelligent inadequacy? I get chills thinking of a future generation with no higher aspirations than that of the narrowly regulated knowledge of their everyday needs, while blindly swallowing every bit of nonsense loudly blaring from their HDTV TEVOed plasma surround-sound entertainment systems.  I frown upon my own hyperactive need for distraction, I cannot be content simply watching television, but I must simultaneously be on the computer, otherwise I become bored.  Why do I grow bored and distracted so easily?  I feel as though we cultivate ADD by incessantly stuffing our senses with every possible stimulant.

My mind is troubled.  I graduate next year and feel absolutely and wholly unprepared for the next step.  This summer is much too important to let the days lazily slip by, and yet that is exactly what is happening.  I've contacted a teacher in Ewa Beach, hoping to help with his marine research, but he seems disorganized and absent-minded.  He said he would call last Friday, but he did not.  Is it appropriate to call him?  I also responded to a monk seal monitoring project, but nothing on that either.  Aaagh! I want to DO SOMETHING, but it seems like my help is not needed.  I can't graduate next year, without any field experience.  I want to USE my degree when I graduate, not do some job completely unrelated.  I wish these sorts of opportunities could just fall in my lap, and I wish that my help was being begged for, not the other way around.  And then, I really hope I can do an internship Spring semester at the Oceanic Institute (which never e-mailed me back either, so fucking frustrating), because I think internships are a sort of thing required for graduate school. 

Anyway, after graduation, to completely change gears, I'm really hanging all my hopes on the JET program, before attending graduate school. The JET program is a year long English teaching program in Japan, in which anyone with a bachelor's degree can apply.  I know this is a complete 180 from marine biology, but it would help pay off my loans before graduate school  (I think they pay $40,000 for that year), which is amazing for just graduating college.  Understandably, it is extremely competitive, but I think I might have a good chance.  I've always excelled in English, I've tutored ESL students, cumulatively, for a year, and living in Hawaii, I already feel some association with the Japanese culture.  I figure while I am there, I can study for my GREs, and apply to graduate school when I get back.  If the JET program doesn't work out, I'm not sure what I'll do.

Oh for the summers when laziness was expected and encouraged, now every idle day knots my stomach and fills me with even more worry for the future.

Yay summer time reading!  Here's what I'm hoping to read

Howard's End-E.M. Forster -finished May 23
Roy Roy-Sir Walter Scott
Mr. Darwin's Shooter-Roger McDonald
The Eyre Affair-Jasper Fforde
The God Delusion-Richard Dawkins
The Edge of the Sea-Rachel Carson

All done with photography, but here are some of, I think, my best pictures.

lol I was supposed to be studying for FINALS, but then I got drunk instead lolers.  Meg and I tried shot gunning beers, but we made a big mess on the porch and now I have choke notecards to make.  oh maannnnn.  My last final is Thursday! Summer is so close, but I am so ADD right now, I can't focus.  Maybe, I should just go to bed.  Ironically, the class I took for fun, photography, is the class I'm worried about getting a B in.  Although, it has been an irritating class all round.  Instead of going out and taking pictures during class, because I dunno it is a photography class, the professor tells us these long detailed stories about his life (whilst showing  his own mediocre pictures) and rambling about extraneous topics. Sooo frustrating.  Anyway. Oh here's something silly.  Last night, I was so exhausted (from multiple nights of staying up late, complied upon having to open, thus waking at 3:30)I fell asleep while eating.  I can't say, I have ever recalled doing such a thing before, but I'm pretty impressed by myself, just as impressive as my incredible time wasting capabilities.  

Omg ok, I dunno if y'all have already seen this, but OMG it is so, so funny.  I was in tears, I was laughing so hard. 

Good news! I told my coworker how I probably will have to drop photography since my camera is broken, and she is letting me borrow hers! And her camera is even better, it has so many more shutter speeds. I need to buy the book for the class, since I'm rather muddled about apertures, depth of field, focal lengths, infinity settings, etc. 

We went snorkeling yesterday at Makai Pier for my ecology class, and it was so cold.  I'm glad it wasn't rainy, but the water was absolutely freezing.  I had goosebumps everywhere.  Still, it's pretty awesome we get to snorkel for class.

I decided this summer, I should probably study for my GREs, and then probably take the test in September.  If I want to go to grad school, I am definitely going to need to find an internship. Maybe I can arrange for one this summer.  I wish I didn't have to work so much, because that would leave a lot more time for these important career opportunities.  It's quite the dilemma--I need to work to pay for rent, but if I want a delightful career in the future, I really need to do an internship.  Oh the stresses as graduation approaches.

Summer To Dos:
1.) Study for GREs
2.) Apply and receive an internship at the Oceanic Institute
3.) Marine Science volunteer opportunities!
4.) Work 30 hours a week.

I figure I can work in the mornings, head over to OI for my internship (or perhaps that can be flipped), volunteer over weekends, and study daily for the GREs.  I am definitely feeling the pressure of graduation, and I really do think I want to go to Grad School. 
Grad schools I'm thinking of include:
UC Santa Cruz or another UC school
Duke
Boston University
I figure my grades are good, with a GPA of 3.94, then if I get an internship, and get a nice letter of recommendation from OI headman, and then if I volunteer extensively over the summer, I can get a letter from the volunteer head if I frequently volunteer with the same person, and if I do really well on my GREs, the general test, and the biology test, I think that should put me in good shape for graduate school admissions.  My grades are fine, but I really, really need to work on my extracurriculars.  For other letters of recommendation, I could ask Professor Unabia (she does a lot of planting, and marsh cleanup, so I could volunteer with her), and also Professor Varis.

I'm not sure if I should wait a year after I graduate, because I'm afraid if I wait a year, and then start asking for letters of recommendation, my professors will have forgotten me.  Unless I spend that year, working and doing something very much related to marine biology such as volunteering or interning or something similar.  Oh so many decisions.  I feel so overwhelmed, and it's just before bedtime.  I just am so fearful I will end up doing nothing with my degree, and won't find a career I am interested in.  I think that is my most frequent and justified fear at the moment, especially since I lack those necessary infield experiences.

I'm using my mom's old Pentax 35mm A 3000 camera for my photography class.  However, I am completely flummoxed.  When I look through the viewfinder, it's completely black, it doesn't make sense.  And I've loaded the film, but the camera doesn't advance to the first picture.  It's been a long time since I've used a film camera, but this one seems broken, although it's been sitting in a case, nice and safe for a few years.  I guess I should bring it to my professor tomorrow, but I wanted to try to figure it out on my own.  Anyone have any ideas?

Flying makes me nervous.  I go back to Hawai'i tomorrow and I really hope my suitcases are under 50 pounds.  I have so many shooooeeesss and clothes, and well I just hope I can squeeze everything in, and they'll still weigh less than 50 pounds.  I don't wanna pay no penalty.  I can't believe break is over already and it's time to go back to school and work.  I going to have to readjust, it always takes me a few weeks to adapt back to my new environment every time I switch between Colorado and Hawai'i.  But it'll be fine.  I've done this multiple times.  I definitely am going to miss my mom though. We get on so well together, it's always a shame when we part.  And I'm going to miss my little kitty cats although I'm sure they'll love the reprieve from being cuddled and hugged and loved to death. I'm not sure when I'll be back home.  I think my manager will get mad at me if I keep requesting long, extravagant vacations from work.

I watched Beauty and the Beast the other day, and I think out of all the Disney movies, this one remains the most significant, and identifiable.  I think everyone has felt like out of place at some point, and knows the misery of having no one to talk or relate to.  And I think the film clearly demonstrates the dangers of relying solely upon appearances, and the mistrust and cruelty that can be motivated by stubborn ignorance.

My school schedule is:

MONDAY:
07:30-11:30
Marine biology laboratory

2:05-3:30
Ecology

TUESDAY:
9:10-10:35
Human Geography

10:50-12:15
Photography

3:00-7:00
Cellular Molecular Biology Laboratory

WEDNESDAY
07:30-11:30
Ecology Laboratory

2:05-3:30
Marine biology lecture

THURSDAY
9:10-10:35
Human Geography

10:50-12:15
Photography

2:05-3:30
Ecology

FRIDAY
2:05-3:30
Marine biology lecture

I'm very glad I will not be opening everyday. That was rough.  Waking up for a 7:30 class is so much better than waking up at 3:30 nearly everyday.  Any sort of early is better than that.

I have to express my satisfaction in finally finding a pair of cheap Chucks; I have been wanting a pair of Chuck Taylors since Freshman year (of college, not high school).  Yaay!  They even have cherries on them;  how is that for perfect?

After seeing Juno, I have come to the conclusion, that the best relationships are founded upon friendships, particularly of the best-friend variety.  Other examples I can think of include Ron and Hermione from Harry Potter, Jim and Pam from the Office, Harry and Sally from When Harry Met Sally.

Rudi took my cousins and I to Denver last weekend.  We ate an a vegetarian restaurant filled with cute Bohemians bent over books and coffee cups , clusters of small tables,  dim lighting, and excerpts from T.S. Elliot written with chalk on the wall.  Rudi is so strange, and I say this being a very weird person myself.  Competing with his co-worker, the two have decided to count the number of smiles they can accrue during the year.  The entire day, with unfaltering diligence, Rudi smiled hopefully at passerby, and faithfully tallied the number of smiles he received in return, by stamping little smiley faces in a journal, specifically bought for this year-long task.  As he puts it, "there are worse things you can count."   After lunch, we went to Tattered Cover, my favorite bookstore.  I love how it has wooden floors, there is something so personable about a creaking floor.  I bought Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger and Howard's End by E.M. Forster.  I'm hoping to finish Franny and Zooey on the return flight to Hawai'i, although I think poor Howard's End will have to wait until May, when I will have free time again.

From Tattered Cover, we went to the Contemporary Art Museum, which I think opened only a few months ago, so it contained a modest little collection.  I try to keep an open perception about art, but I swear some of those pieces were absolutely bizarre.  I think current artists have extreme flexibility in what they can create, and label as art.  My two favorite pieces included a wall of  small televisions, each displaying a different person, singing to Bob Marley songs.  Each person was individually recorded, and the then artist complied all these solo performances, creating quite a harmonious chorus.  My other favorite piece, was a room, comprised entirely of mirrors.  I love mirrors--as a child I used to play, while sitting on the bathroom sink, with the medicine cabinet, adjusting mirror's angle so I would form a never-ending row of Biancas. I felt like I could almost enter the "looking glass."

I just finished Ex Libris by Anne Fadiman, which was an adorable little book, although it contained a  embarrassingly large number of words I had never heard of.  I required a dictionary to read it.  I'm surprised at how many words (words I had to look up) she used that fit the described situation perfectly. 

Megan gets in tomorrow! I'm so excited.  I cleaned for a few hours today in preparation for her arrival, and made a sign to greet her with at the airport. 

I'm not really a mean person, but I think giving our cats a bath is hilarious.  I'm not sure why it's so funny, and I guess it is sort of sadistic,  especially when they "meow" so desperately, but I love giving kitties baths.  Is that mean?

I went to Panera today so I could get a Mediterranean Veggie sandwich and finish Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.  I love reading, but I get distracted very easily, especially when people walk by.  I can't help but look up whenever a well-bundled blur shuffles by.  When a middle-aged business man exited today, he let out a loud exasperated sigh, as pushed the second set of doors.  Later, a similarly dressed man exited. He released the exact sort of sigh-it sounded so unhappy and desperate.  What kind of lives do these business men lead?  Did they really want these occupations?  Were they forced into these careers by their parents because it would be practical?  Could they not decide a major and settled on business because it  was the clear path to stability and and good finances? As a side note, whenever a woman left, she emitted no such sigh.

My sleeping schedule is all messed up.  I go to bed at four, and wake up at noon.  Every time I come home, I tell myself I will not fall into the same sleeping pattern, because I love mornings, I really do.  I love the stillness, the pink that lightly dusts the sky, the crisp, cool air. The whole day is wide open.  Waking up at noon gives no such feelings.  I always feel guilty and lazy.

I think it would be amazing to write a novel.  Imagine going into a bookstore and seeing your work. Pulling it from the shelf, flipping through it, lingering on your favorite parts, staring at your author picture. I however, have no hopes of writing a novel, since it takes me so long to write anything and everything.  Except maybe journal entries, since I just type, and type.  The days I have to write all day because of tight deadlines, fueled by my own procrastination, I get huge headaches, and word blocks, and I stare off for minutes, anxiously biting my nails because I can't think of the perfect word, agonizing over single sentences because I know something can be changed to make them better. Maybe a novella would be possible.

I've been painting over break.  I started in my sketchbooks in 2004, and I love looking at my progress.  I'm not great, but I'm definitely better than I was four years ago. 

Anyway. I guess I should try to fall asleep. I hate how sleep is such a precious commodity during the school year, but during break it becomes a chore.  Hm.